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June 26, 2008
Priorities
I was reading some local cycling blogs and came across a post about Priorities. It got me thinking quiet a bit because I know exactly where this cyclist is coming from. The year my daughter was born I was training 20 hours a week for Triathlons and having some great personal success. As my life started to change with the responsibilities of Fatherhood and the changes children make in a marriage my ability to train at that level started to suffer. From being sick constantly due to the bugs my daughter would bring home to the sleepless nights every new parent experiences, I had a very hard time adjusting to not training. At one point I just gave up, right around the time she was six months old.
I had a new role at work, I was battling a cold, and I was getting burned out training morning, noon, and night while trying to balance being a Dad, Husband, and Son. What I started to realize is that once you have trained to the point of being a competitive athlete, it is very hard to return to being a guy who exercised just to stay in shape. I yearned for the form and performances that it afforded me. I waned to be at the front of a pack, to be the envy of those "Recreational" athletes, and experience the pure thrill of competition. I gave up triathlons and decided to focus on my true love of cycling thinking it would simplify my life. I was wrong, the same urges to train 20 hours a week still lingered. Consistency was my biggest issue. My old training habits of 3 - 4 hour blocks at a time were not feasible. I gave up over and over again, but I still found myself at races, suffering and pushing myself to the brink. I wondered how many of the other cyclists out there with kids seemed to be in better shape than I. I beat myself up for not finding a way to balance my life and have it all.
It has taken me years to figure out the simple fact that I am a better Dad, Husband, and Son when cycling is a big part of my life. I needed to find a way to make it work, as the bike lets me get rid of all that frustration that builds up in life. I could return home calm and knew I was a better person for it. Better for my daughter and my wife. This past year I decided I was going to make things work. I knew that I would have to be very focused on planning my training in order to bring balance to my life and family. I learned that consistency was often more important than anything else in my training. So I started small, a 1/2 hour at a time. I put the bike on the trainer and learned that I could get great work outs in that took 45 minutes instead of an hour it would take on the road. I got up early or rode the bike late so I could maximize my time with my family. I did not fret when I could not ride due to family or work obligations. I worked with my family in the off-season to plan my racing calendar so we could all maximize our time together and apart so everyone got what they needed. I stopped riding junk miles and adopted a better training regimen. I also built a strong base in the off-season that I knew I could leverage throughout the year.
I also recognized that I did not have the time to try and achieve reaching the level of a cat 1/2 at this time in my life. I even evaluated what it took to be a Cat 3 and realized that it might even be a stretch to be competitive at that level. So I decided to stay a Cat 4 knowing I could compete there, stay challenged and maybe if I was lucky realize some success.
In the end I have achieved more success this year on the bike with fewer hours of training and more time with my family than ever before. I see that I can be competitive in the 3/4 categories, but certainly not the 1/2/3 categories. With that said, I can more than satisfy my need for competition. I see that I can involve my family in my cycling lifestyle and that I can change my lifestyle to stay involved in my family. I don't feel like I have given up anything, nor do I feel that I have put undue burden on my family. In the end it is different for everyone, but I believe that giving up something you love will just increase resentment that could be directed at those you love. Every day is a challenge to balance family, cycling, and work but I refuse to stop trying to make it work. I love the fact that my daughter knows that when I put on my cycling kit I am heading out to ride my bike. I love that when she comes to races and screams in her tiny voice " Go Daddy Go!". I love that she will watch cycling with me on T.V. and knows the names of professional cyclists. I love that she asks to ride her bike with me.
I don't believe that you have to make that choice to stop being competitive to be a good dad or husband. I do think you have to be more focused to be successful and at the same time be flexible. Now maybe you can't be a cat 1/2 anymore, but that does not mean you can't still be competitive, that you have to be stop being an athlete.
Posted by kermisch at June 26, 2008 8:30 PM